surveillance
  • graye

Necro the community!

I solemnly and sincerely warrant to you that the following statements are true and free of omissions:

  • [info]assfingers is a bombastic nincompoop, and has bitchtits
  • [info]_sterno_ is a toxoplasmotic molester of kittens
  • [info]andamaroo is hirsute, and most probably a furry
  • The content that collectively comes out of Facebook is similar in tone and measure and to the straining delivery of a fat man, indisposed in the loo, after a night of cheap whiskey and spicy prawns.
  • Football is the lamest of national sports, and is less fun than Cricket, even
  • Football is still better than Baseball
  • Your favorite band is a preening product of A&R, and bereft of talent or skill.
  • Your car is gutless.
  • [info]kingfox is a great crying woman, and isn't as smart as Konrad.
  • Your country is NOT the land of the free.
  • You daily life betrays your true beliefs, and you wallow in ignorant terror of your own banality.
  • Your taste in furniture sucks. You could find better pieces in a Dentist's office.
  • You smell like old beets.


I think I've done enough! Phew! Arise, dead community!

(no subject)

suburban moms:

you are so incredibly boring i don't know where to begin. someday you will look back on your twenties and cry , for this is surely the decade that you surrendered any personal identity. this will be the decade you remember for wasting in 20 minute increments peeling and slicing apples just the way your toddler likes them; for the years you decided that sacrificing personal growth and professional advancement were a fair exchange for spending all day every day with your child, thus robbing them of any sense of independence and ability to thrive outside of your presence.

Indian Food diaper NYE!!!!

New Year's eve is a jerky little lizard.....The only good that comes out of it, is that you are guarteed a free hangover day (holiday) and no work. I mean, I don't know about you but I love paying $50 to go to the same bar I always go to that is free and for my $50 I get a glass of watered down champagne and a paper hat. Then I get overpriced drinks the rest of the night and it's pretty much no different than any other weekend except I've dropped twice as much money. It's also cold, I hate holidays that are on cold days. Actually I hate all holidays except the Dia de los Muertos, ok Halloween is pretty cool too because I love costumes. Anyway, New Year's eve can eat pickled worms for all I care, I don't like midnight being the focal point of my night. That being said I will still succumb to the pressure and go to a party where I will get ridiculously drunk, kiss people I shouldn't and feel like the death the next day. But at least I get Monday off too jerk! Yeah New Year's eve, I tried to insult you but I guess you aren't all that bad.
College Days

Extreme Hardcore Insults!

OK, I don't have any more patience for this shit. What the fuck is up with these Lost fans? Two of my fellow brothers-in-arms are all obsessed with this show, and there is, I would guess, about 1/10th of all the pages on the internet all linked to each other involved with this show. They're not getting special, secret e-mails from some random web site. And it is ALL they talk about at work. Well, except two of my other co-workers who were never into the internet and always considered me a geek for being into it. They are now quitting their smokeless tobacco habit, and are using an on-line support group to do so. They run around like chickens with their heads cut off saying some lame-ass, stereo-typical shit like "oh, did you see what newbrunswik32 just said about the weather? man, that guy is crazy!" or "Did you see penguins_fan234's new icon? That's hillarious!"

So, I've got the Lost boys on one side, and the rednecks with computers on the other. This has been the longest year of my life, BY FAR.

FYM, ASMBD!

-Andrzej Valentyn Kujawski
BATMAN
  • wall2k4

DLK

You guys are a bunch of fuck nuts.  Thanks for the 14 hour notice that you were showing our apartment today.  Also, thanks for the vague time given (10 am to 6 pm).  Fucking asshats.  I hope that a gorilla has its way with all of you
BATMAN
  • wall2k4

mimic 3

I just spent an hour or so watching the steaming pile of crap known as Mimic 3 on FX.
Horrible.  
Whoever decided that crossing the plots of Rear Window with a crappy B Horror movie about giant bug things needs to have their head bashed in with a blunt object.

While we are here, why not discuss what good choices for Horror movies would be this weekend....
dragonfly
  • barswa

(no subject)

I hate you weather! The way you make me sweat from every pore. How if I use the fan I know its only a moments respite, because once I turn the fan off it'll be hotter than it was before.

You stupid dung beetle drool of a temperature and your compadre humidity, that cum-slurping asshole of a cousin you carry around with you.

And I especially hate you because I'm moving to Texas where it'll only be worse, you misplaced sadistic weather leftover of a day in hell.