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Insult yourself, those you hate or those you love's LiveJournal:
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|Thursday, September 27th, 2007|
Necro the community!
I solemnly and sincerely warrant to you that the following statements are true and free of omissions:
- assfingers is a bombastic nincompoop, and has bitchtits
- _sterno_ is a toxoplasmotic molester of kittens
- andamaroo is hirsute, and most probably a furry
- The content that collectively comes out of Facebook is similar in tone and measure and to the straining delivery of a fat man, indisposed in the loo, after a night of cheap whiskey and spicy prawns.
- Football is the lamest of national sports, and is less fun than Cricket, even
- Football is still better than Baseball
- Your favorite band is a preening product of A&R, and bereft of talent or skill.
- Your car is gutless.
- kingfox is a great crying woman, and isn't as smart as Konrad.
- Your country is NOT the land of the free.
- You daily life betrays your true beliefs, and you wallow in ignorant terror of your own banality.
- Your taste in furniture sucks. You could find better pieces in a Dentist's office.
- You smell like old beets.
I think I've done enough! Phew! Arise, dead community! Current Mood: chipper
|Wednesday, April 5th, 2006|
To all you customers that think getting your groceries bagged in paper makes them easier to carry: You are fucking stupid.
That is all/
|Thursday, March 23rd, 2006|
you are so incredibly boring i don't know where to begin. someday you will look back on your twenties and cry , for this is surely the decade that you surrendered any personal identity. this will be the decade you remember for wasting in 20 minute increments peeling and slicing apples just the way your toddler likes them; for the years you decided that sacrificing personal growth and professional advancement were a fair exchange for spending all day every day with your child, thus robbing them of any sense of independence and ability to thrive outside of your presence.
|Thursday, December 29th, 2005|
Indian Food diaper NYE!!!!
New Year's eve is a jerky little lizard.....The only good that comes out of it, is that you are guarteed a free hangover day (holiday) and no work. I mean, I don't know about you but I love paying $50 to go to the same bar I always go to that is free and for my $50 I get a glass of watered down champagne and a paper hat. Then I get overpriced drinks the rest of the night and it's pretty much no different than any other weekend except I've dropped twice as much money. It's also cold, I hate holidays that are on cold days. Actually I hate all holidays except the Dia de los Muertos, ok Halloween is pretty cool too because I love costumes. Anyway, New Year's eve can eat pickled worms for all I care, I don't like midnight being the focal point of my night. That being said I will still succumb to the pressure and go to a party where I will get ridiculously drunk, kiss people I shouldn't and feel like the death the next day. But at least I get Monday off too jerk! Yeah New Year's eve, I tried to insult you but I guess you aren't all that bad.
|Thursday, December 1st, 2005|
Extreme Hardcore Insults!
OK, I don't have any more patience for this shit. What the fuck is up with these Lost fans? Two of my fellow brothers-in-arms are all obsessed with this show, and there is, I would guess, about 1/10th of all the pages on the internet all linked to each other involved with this show. They're not getting special, secret e-mails from some random web site. And it is ALL they talk about at work. Well, except two of my other co-workers who were never into the internet and always considered me a geek for being into it. They are now quitting their smokeless tobacco habit, and are using an on-line support group to do so. They run around like chickens with their heads cut off saying some lame-ass, stereo-typical shit like "oh, did you see what newbrunswik32 just said about the weather? man, that guy is crazy!" or "Did you see penguins_fan234's new icon? That's hillarious!"
So, I've got the Lost boys on one side, and the rednecks with computers on the other. This has been the longest year of my life, BY FAR.
-Andrzej Valentyn Kujawski
|Thursday, November 3rd, 2005|
You guys are a bunch of fuck nuts. Thanks for the 14 hour notice that you were showing our apartment today. Also, thanks for the vague time given (10 am to 6 pm). Fucking asshats. I hope that a gorilla has its way with all of you
|Thursday, October 27th, 2005|
I just spent an hour or so watching the steaming pile of crap known as Mimic 3 on FX.
Whoever decided that crossing the plots of Rear Window with a crappy B Horror movie about giant bug things needs to have their head bashed in with a blunt object.
While we are here, why not discuss what good choices for Horror movies would be this weekend....
|Thursday, October 13th, 2005|
down with jerks
is a fraud, a sham, and a mental midget.
He is unclean, boring, and probably syphillitic.
Mice nest in his nethers. Current Mood: booful
You all suck...no one updates this community anymore damnit!
I need something to entertain me while at work! :p
|Thursday, August 4th, 2005|
I hate you weather! The way you make me sweat from every pore. How if I use the fan I know its only a moments respite, because once I turn the fan off it'll be hotter than it was before.
You stupid dung beetle drool of a temperature and your compadre humidity, that cum-slurping asshole of a cousin you carry around with you.
And I especially hate you because I'm moving to Texas where it'll only be worse, you misplaced sadistic weather leftover of a day in hell.
|Thursday, June 2nd, 2005|
|Thursday, May 5th, 2005|
Graye = Jerks
I'm over here in Iraq, eating sand and shitting lonliness, and Graye is traipsing around Western Europe and Northern Africa, just having a hell of a time. Yes, I know that he had to save up a long time for it. Still jealous. Yes, I know that he has had his ration of shit in life and deserves a good time or two to make up for it. Still think he's just another ungrateful, whiny Canuck. Yes, I know that he should probably be the one going instead of me because his photography and to some limited degree his writing abilities are higher than mine. Still say that if I get a good roll, I can overcome his modifier in at least the writing. Yes, I know that Graye would only be happy for me and my good times if the roles were reversed. Still don't mind being an asshole and telling him how jealous I am of him. I hope he chockes on a baguette and gets strangled by the cord of the camera that he is putting to such awesome use. And that he buys a fez.
-Andrzej Valentyn Kujawski Current Mood: PLAYFUL, NOT ASSHOLE!!!
Marquette University has come up with the greatest insult of them all. This community may have to be closed, as no insult will ever be quite as insulting as this one.
Their new mascot, you see, is "Gold".
The Marquette Gold.
|Friday, April 29th, 2005|
Fuck you to whoever rearranged all of the business cards that are kept in the waiting area. We have 3 therapists who each have cards and some fucktard decided to give them all a nice shuffle and turn them every which way. That was great. I really wanted to take time out of my god damn day to put those in order. Fuck off. Current Mood: annoyed
|Thursday, April 14th, 2005|
just following orders
graye's complete lack of skill in the area of vituperation begs for admonishing. he has yet to post an insult that capable of provoking even a single guffaw. i gave up the idea that he would ever manage to solicit a LOL from me long, long ago. because of his complete failure to produce a humorous jab, he is unequivocally at the top of my list of people i do not know that i do not wish to know.
, I hate you because you did not eat a chicken parm sub today.
To: Whom It May Concern.
Regarding: This business about insulting graye
Dear Sir/Madam/Repugnant Entity Addressed Most Commonly by the Name graye
I would bring to your attention, the fact that I, thelastbandito
, insult this window licker, graye
, on a daily, if not hourly, if not minutely, if not secondly basis. Therefore, it is my opinion that specifically taking time out of my day to belabor myself with extra-curricular insults, above and beyond my nominal workload, is not worth the opportunity cost of that endeavor. Specifically the weighed costs of Insulting graye
versus the weighed costs of Insulting graye
This being stated, I believe it is high past time that I dished out some works of insultery and disparagement towards this ultimate disappointment of a man, and aspiring poop-smith, graye
+ It has been postulated that graye
has not so much a brain, as a small coagulation of ear wax that has accumulated in the vacuole left by the absence of such an organ. This is supported by the fact that graye
's intellect is so lackluster as to be definably determined to represent approximately 3 seconds, no where near the requisite of five years. To further prove this point, it can be demonstrably demonstrated that he does not even understand parts of this bulletin point.
's charm has a quantifiable subatomic value, which registers as less than zero, and in fact his J/psi particles have a NEGATIVE life span. This explains a phenomenon that is quite well known in regards to graye
's arrival at any enclave or structure which is host to a gathering of socialites. Whereby an audible sound decries his appearance, this sound has been likened to the audible event that occurs with the introduction of a spontaneous area of vacuum into an otherwise filled air space. Simultaneously, there have been several reports that along with this sound, comes the immediate and irrevocable loss of what is quaintly defined by the layman as 'The Life' of said social gathering.
+ Several sources in The Department of Ninja's have confirmed the fact that where graye
to be vanquished, and sent to summary judgment of whatever deity or force of nature his addled and singular wit believes to hold sway over the universe, he would thus subsequently be instantaneously and miraculously restored to life. This confusing set of events can only be accounted for by the following assumptions:
has mortally offended this supreme power in some way, as to cause the power to judge graye
fit for an eternity of punishment. This is not much of an assumption, since graye
's presence in this world is pretty much a mortally offensive offense to anyone and anything.
- This supreme power has spent what amounts to an infinite eternity of time using its omnipotent intellect and power to ponder the most cruel and torturous afterlife possible for graye
- Simply living life and existing as graye
is the worst possible punishment in the known and unknown universe.
+ And finally, dear graye
, in the words of Shakespeare: Thou art essentially a natural coward without instinct.
GOOD DAY, SIR!
Graye (everyone else today has linked your name, so I don't need to):
You are TEH SUCK!
Though, I barely know you, I can smell you from Kelowna and so can my cats. They think you suck, too.
HOW DARE you leave me alone in the Canadian wilderness. NOW who's going to make me bannock and feed the sled dogs?? WHO??